The Heart of Coaching: 1 Point Most Coaches Miss!

The Heart of Coaching: 1 Point Most Coaches Miss!

Blog by Rudi Kennard

 

‘It is often not the words you speak to your clients, but the space the words are coming from, that speak to your clients.’

Rudi Kennard

 

 

I had the sheer luck and honor to train with Sydney Banks in 2003. Before the ‘Three Principles’ went into the field of coaching. What was very obvious to me from being present at Syd Banks talks was the ‘space’ he was coming from as he said the words. 

To me it was a very palpable feeling/ resonance/ energy/ presence that seemed to rekindle your own ‘inner knowing’ or your own heart of compassion. One talk I went to, I just cried and cried afterwards, another I felt so ‘expansive’ that I could see the energy field around things, another time, I didn’t get much, due to my own head being too loud to hear his silence! It was not Syd Banks, it was a space before him reminding me of the same space within ‘me’.

I also remember visiting gurus in India and after 6 months of disappointment I remember walking through the smokey streets of Mumbai and had an experience of ‘consciousness coaching’

The sun beat down and lit up all the brightly colored saris on the elegant Indian women, it glimmered off the rooftops and shimmered through the smoke and haze arising from the pavement that was still wet from the torrential rain. Indian pujas drifted lazily over the airways, and the pungent aroma of spices and flavoursome foods made my tummy grumble with desire.

In the hazy distance through the bustling crowd I saw a light, it was not a light I saw with my eyes, but a light I felt with my heart. Out of the mists of jostling people, there came a Sadhu (Indian mystic). He was in a loin cloth and had a bowl and a staff. I had seen literally thousands of these guys in my 6 months in India, however he was the ‘real deal’. How did I know? Keep reading.

As he walked towards me we locked eyes, I felt my heart expand and tears of joy started streaming down my face, my ‘body’ seemed to expand and I felt the people and cars passing through ‘me’. He was also tearful, he had such kind, loving eyes, eyes that with one look could heal the deepest pain. As he walked past we nodded at one another and very soon he was lost back into the hazy mist of Mumbai. My heart expanded, and to this day it hasn’t gone back. . . .

Why am I sharing this?

My interaction with him rekindled a presence within- but no words were spoken- and I am pretty sure he hadn’t done a £40’000 coaching program.

I mean no disrespect to coaches, psychologists or professionals who share the understanding, but to me, and only my humble opinion, is:

To go back to the heart of the universe, to uncover a boundless presence within, it is not done through processes, logic, accreditation, qualifications, who you trained with, nor how much you paid. The ‘space’ is ‘before’ all that stuff. To me all that stuff has got people so hypnotised and distracted from the ‘beforeness’ that people get lost in it and forget the essence of what they could  be sharing with clients.

‘Principle based coaching’ to me, has now become about who charges the most, how many high paying clients you have, the ‘right’ or ‘pure’ way to do it and what accreditation or professional body you trained with.

Pardon my outburst but ‘f$%k all of it’ – go back home, back within, back to the heart of coaching, back to the heart of life, the essence of all things that can not be accredited, qualified, taught, done ‘right’ nor can the measureless-ness fit into the measurement of the field of coaching. Can you fit the ocean in a teacup? Stop trying to squeeze the principles INTO the field of coaching, and why not expand the field of coaching in the direction of the essence?

For us. We (myself and my wife Julianne) tried to do this within the ‘field’ of the principles but just got admonished for it, so we created ‘Wholaity’® as an attempt to ‘expand’ our teaching beyond the limitations of a field or a teaching/coaching style. 

“In order to change an existing paradigm you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete.”

Buckminster R. Fuller

 

As ‘coaches’ we do not want to tell people what they can and cannot do. Nor do we want to point them into their thinking, but back to their hearts, the essence within. We don’t want to just ‘sort their heads out’ but actually expand their consciousness.

I have been ‘coaching’ people for nearly 30 years and sure helping them understand the nature of their perceptual experience is amazingly helpful to them (thought creates experience) however, I could not help them remember their own boundless essence within- before their psychology, if I had not visited this space myself. . . . . 

“You can not be a very effective tour guide if you have never visited the place you are trying to guide people towards.”

Rudi Kennard

 

My years meditating, travelling and going within have been so helpful, direct and deep spiritual experiences of the non-dual or ‘oneness’ helps me help people ‘experientially’ remember the great infinite beforeness- this is the ‘space’ that is being lost in modern day coaching, why- because many of the coaches have been distracted away from this space so how could they be a tour guide to a place they seldom visit?

Don’t get me wrong, helping people with their heads is really helpful, they feel better and they do better in life. Also if I was talking to organisations (as I do) I don’t talk about the ‘great boundless essence’ I make the teaching relative to what the organisation needs in that moment using words relevant to that group, and yes, our company is accredited with an independent body (CPD). So I am NOT saying ‘just be all spiritual!’ I AM saying coaches need to embrace the ‘Wholaity’ of the psychological and formless essence as one whole- not one or the other, as they are both the same expressed differently.

There is the great silence . . .another dimension or order behind life hidden in plain sight. The ‘Ananda’ the space of unconditional contentment regardless of what the world is doing, a space of deep feelings of bliss, gratitude and compassion, a state of mult-dimesional reality and energetic presence that very few people ever uncover. Why? Because they are being directed to their heads and not their hearts. 

These boundless feelings are just natural implications of the ‘beforeness’ that is possible to live within, AND and WHILE we experience the inevitable ebbs and flows of the human experience with all our insecurities and misunderstandings it’s the ‘whole’ nature of us.

 

So let’s keep coaching simple- let’s expand it back to the heart, back to the essence, back to simplicity, for it is the power of love that spins electrons, creates and destroys universes and beats our hearts, how about we take people back to the only force in the universe, their own hearts and from the heart- life is truly well lived.

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10 thoughts on “The Heart of Coaching: 1 Point Most Coaches Miss!”

  1. Rudi, this is sooo beautiful, such a gentle, powerful love radiating from you. This is such a simple, profound message. It’s so easy to get innocently caught up in the how/what/why of ‘doing’. It almost feels counterintuitive, too simple, to just BE and radiate love. Surely that’s not ‘enough’. Not only is it enough. It’s all there is. Thank you so much for sharing this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      1. Thank You Rudy.This article melted my heart again.So natural and human oriented approach.I love it!Stay blessed!🤗

  2. Well there you are Rudi coaching us all on where the true coaching is coming from and how to focus on that real simplicity that is all we need to know. Thank you for sharing. You just knew you had something powerful to say that needed to be said. I heard you loud and clear. Here’s to the love and our tender hearts.

  3. Hi Rudi – Thanks for all your love and wonderful shared experience and workshops that I have spent many many hours absorbing.
    What you shared above reminds me of the lesson I (started to) learn some years ago training in Kiloby inquiry facilitation with a German woman. I had had some success getting folks back to childhood trauma and was TRYING to get her back — and she was not going for it! Finally she stopped and looked at me and in exasperation said:
    “I FEEL LIKE YOU HAF AN AGENDAH!”
    Her comment still live in my mind whenever I start feeling that urge to fix/change/move them. Slowly I am learning to first really connect with the person and their issue — and then be still and let any response emerge intuitively from Divine Wisdom — from Stillness — and not from Carter’s agenda or good ideas.
    Sending much love and thanks to you and Jules, Carter.
    PS. My first memories are playing on the beach and stream we lived on near Diamond Head — and my first trauma was being thrown under a bed during the Pearl Harbor attack.

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