The missing link to unconditional love

The missing link to unconditional love

By Rudi Kennard co-director of 

I could write about ‘unconditional love’ as loving yourself and others just as they are without conditions. However I am not going to do that. Why? Because it is bullshit.

I am NOT unconditionally loving.

I often DO want conditions to be different from what they are. I often Do want people to be different. I often DO feel more love for some people over others. My love often DOES have conditions.

So what is this blog about?

To me unconditional love is not ALWAYS 100% of the time being loving. But unconditionally accepting that we can be conditional.

When we stop ‘trying’ to be loving and love our inevitable contractions (conditional love) and expansions (unconditional love), we embrace the natural ebbs and flows of the human experience as an expressions within consciousness and ironically we are more unconditionally accepting of ‘us’ and ‘them’ just as they are and just as we are in the moment.

Do I love my wife, my son and daughter- Yes- beyond words

Would I die for them- Absolutely- without question

Do I feel love for them unconditionally all the time- No

Sometimes I look into my wife’s beautiful dark eyes and I feel such a swell of emotional gratitude and bliss to be with her I can cry with happiness.

Sometimes I look into my wife’s dark eyes and I feel such a swell of emotional anger and annoyance with her that i want to scream in frustration

I am not unconditionally loving- but I unconditionally accept that I am not.

If we are trying to be 100% unconditionally loving and we were only managing it, say, 50% of the time – we could start being very conditional (judgemental) with ourselves.

What would happen if we just accepted the 50%-ness just as it is- unconditionally?

THIS IS unconditional love. It’s not being 100% loving, it’s unconditionally accepting the 50% just as it is, just as we are.

We could unconditionally love our own conditional mind.

We are NOT pure blissful consciousness. We are pure blissful consciousness ‘human-ing’. We will only ever be pure blissful consciousness ‘human-ing’ (while we have a physical form). So why don’t we save ourselves a lot of misery and accept the ‘human-ing;’ or the ’50%-ness’ as part of the ‘whole’- stop vilifying it and embrace it with all it’s conditionality?

We could just end the pursuit of perfection and embrace the imperfect perfection of our ‘whole’ nature, then we naturally love yourself and others and quit the judgement when we naturally do the 50%-ness.

Unconditional love is not a state of being- but unconditionally being in ALL states of mind- just as they are.

This is what my wife Jules talks about on our programs- ‘Ananda’ meaning the ‘great contentment.’ An unconditional contentment within ALL the inevitable and natural contractions and expansions of the human experience within consciousness.

Stop trying to be perfect and be human

Stop searching for a state of being and just be in whatever state is arising in the moment

Stop the insanity of thinking that you will be content ‘when’ a something happens and just be content ‘now’ not in a future ‘when’

I am not perfect, I am not always loving, I can sometimes feel very ’separate’ from universal love, and I can sometimes feel very insecure. Do I care? Not really, I do not see it as a problem. Our ‘humanness’ is only a problem if we think it is- what would happen if we stopped thinking it was  . . . . .?


Share This Content

2 thoughts on “The missing link to unconditional love”

  1. This is really fantastic. Eye-opening and super helpful. I’ve often felt guilty for loving my husband and my daughter more than other people, but it’s part of being human, and it does no one any good for me to judge myself for that. Thanks for this Rudi! Looking forward to doing The End of Self-Judgment course with you!

    1. Ahh Wonderful Maria! I am so happy that you will be with us!
      Thank you for your response!!
      Hugs and love to you always!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.